10 Songs That Let You Know It's Time To Leave The Club

We've all been there. Your friends convince you to come out the club only to find that DJ Wackmaster Wack is spinning shit mix 2009. There have been many times where I've looked up at the DJ booth and mouthed the words "this shit is terrible." Apparently the DJs never hear me because the next song is usually "Crank Dat" by Soulja Boy. It is possible to survive these nights but it always hits a point where you can't take it anymore. Here are 10 Songs That Let You Know It's Time To Leave The Club.

10. HOUSE OF PAIN "JUMP AROUND"

Without fail this song always plays when I'm just about to seal the deal with a hot college chick. The worst part is the drunk girl then usually proceeds to grind up on me and try to dance (off beat as fuck) to lyrics like "I'll never eat a pig cause a pig is a cop." Nobody paid cover to watch a bunch of drunk morons "Jump Around." It also kills whatever vibe is going around the room and prompts women to start dancing in circles thus making it harder to infiltrate. Try and stop me from leaving when this plays.

9. MONTELL JORDAN "THIS IS HOW WE DO IT"

I do like this song but unfortunately it has been high jacked by drunk frat boys who use it as warm up music before their push up competitions. Seriously, I couldn't even count how many times some douche in an American Eagle polo has spilled a drink on me while this song was playing. White dudes who don't listen to Hip-Hop on the regular love that there is a song where they actually know the Rap portion by heart. It makes them feel like it's ok to grind up on some girl quickly forgetting they dance like this:

8. USHER "NICE & SLOW"

Usher - Nice & Slow (Official Music Video) - Free videos are just a click away

Let me explain: This song only means leave the club for the people that aren't actually dancing "nice & slow" with someone. Don't tell me you haven't seen dudes still on the dance floor boppin' their heads and two-steppin' to this lookin' lonelier than 46 year-old Star Trek fans. Newsflash: No one is gonna meet you at 2:36am and decide to sleep with you by 2:39am. I'm confident in my game but even I couldn't pull that shit off. Girls hair is usually messy as shit by then and they are more concerned about reachin' Denny's than your belt.

7. FLO-RIDA "LOW"

This shit right here is the Rap equivalent of the "Macarena":

You know how I know this song is bad? I've got incredible rhythm on the dance floor (pats self on back) but I can't dance to this song. I've tried and it feels like I'm participating in the devil's work. For some reason the wack DJ's usually save this until later in the night like anyone is actually waiting for this shit. When this plays I usually spend some time thinking about what I'm gonna order at Burger King when I bounce.

6. BEENIE MAN "WHO AM I"

It's such a shame that people think they're actually dancing to Reggae music when this plays. I mean I think Kelly Clarkson has more street credibility than Beenie at this point. The funniest thing when this song plays is seeing people pretending they know words other than the hook. You know...they are trying to spit the verses but have NO CLUE what Beenie is saying. I usually stick around long enough for the entertainment of this and then leave. The club is once again on BAD DANCING ALERT.

5. NELLY "HOT IN HERRE"

Whenever this song plays I immediately coordinate in my mind where all of the exits are. Want to see terrible dancing? Play this song in a room full of drunk college students of the Caucasian persuasion. Drunk people love to Rap the "I'm just kiddin' like Jason...unless you gon' do it" line right in my ear for some reason. This is where I down as many tequila shots as it takes to make this song enjoyable. There never seems to be enough tequila.

4. DRU HILL "SLEEPING IN MY BED" (SO SO DEF REMIX)

We don't need to hear Dru Hill in 2009...unless it's "Tell Me." End of story.

3. FATMAN SCOOP "PUT YOUR HANDS UP"

My main issue with this song is nobody listens to the directions:

- "All the chicken heads be quiet"...and then all the chicken heads start making noise and the quality women are getting a drink.

- "All the good looking women sing along"...and several ghoulish characters proceed to sing at the top of their lungs...also some guys start singing...awesome.

- "Who fuckin' tonight?"...why does EVERYONE in the club put their hands up for this when we know damn well like 10-15 people are actually fuckin' tonight?

...oh and Fatman Scoop is incredibly annoying.

2. DJ KOOL "LET ME CLEAR MY THROAT"

I know this is supposed to be a party starter but for me it's a party ender. This is where I start playing the wall and then proceed to the leave the club like Tony Montana in drunkin' digust:

1. JAGGED EDGE "LET'S GET MARRIED" (REMIX)

I've always wondered why people grind with each other to this song at the club. Are you really tryin' to marry someone whose name you forgot 5 minutes after you met them? Nothing says marriage and romance like feelin' "a little poke coming through..."

Comments

[Lorin]

LMAO..hilarious. And it's true college has ruined Montell's hit for as well.

[Sickamore]

this is amazing

[Electro Stan]

Haha this list is Hillareous!

[J]

You said a mouthful homie. Hit the nail right on the head wit this one. Especially with that fatman scoop shit

[Fatman Scoop]

HEY, THANKS FOR THE LOVE (HATE, BUT ITS LOVE)!

Fatman Scoop....

I saw this on my google Alerts!

[grinditwhineit]

loll i agree about wat u say about the caucasian comments

but put your hands up is a hot song mayn, jus ignore the wite ppl

[Timberland Boots]

I'm going home tonight to take a pick, i'm very excited about this (clearly you see how sad and crazy i am about shoes.) Will post the picture