So Soulja Boy is all set to remake "Juice" taking on the role of "Bishop" originally played by the late Tupac Shakur. There a few problems with this:
- Soulja Boy
Now if these aren't 4 words that should never go together, I don't know what are. Soulja Boy isn't an actor (he can't even pretend to be a rapper), 2Pac isn't happy, the word remake is usually a bad thing and when it's attached to "Juice" it's a very bad thing. Don't get me wrong, "Juice" is a great movie but it doesn't deserve a damn remake. I don't care if Anthony Hopkins was playing "Bishop", the shit shouldn't happen. So in the spirit of my anger, here are 5 More Appropriate Movie Roles for Soulja Boy.
From Deandre To Juaquin
In this remake of the 2003 classic "From Justin To Kelly", Deandre (Soulja Boy Tell'Em) meets Juaquin (Waka Flocka Flame) at BET's Spring bling and sparks and wack rap skills fly! And just when it looks like Deandre and Juaquin will form a lifelong duo, Otis Williams Jr. (OJ Da Juiceman) befriends Juaquin and sends Deandre into a fit of jealousy as he pens a song called "Dear Waka..." letting his friend know how he truly feels. In the end, Deandre and Juaquin run off together into the sunset wearing clothing with way too many colours leaving Otis Williams Jr. behind to Rap like a basketball player.
Shouldn't Be Famous
Based on the hit film "Almost Famous", "Shouldn't Be Famous" is an autobiographical film centered around the life of Soulja Boy. It follows Soulja Boy as he begins posting songs to Myspace teaching millions of grown men around the world how to dance like a retarded 13 year-old. The film comes with a warning due to the bright colours worn by grown men throughout the film. The Rock touched on this phenomenon prior to Wrestlemania:
Meet Joey Crack
In this ironic tale inspired by "Meet Joe Black", Soulja Boy encounters Death known in the film as "Joey Crack." Death infiltrates Soulja Boy's life and teaches him how to "Lean Back" (a dance that is appropriate for men over the age of 13 to do). As Death mentors Soulja Boy and tries to help him stop thinking he's a musician, Soulja Boy shuns Death's advice only to have Joey Crack tell Soulja Boy Death was merely using his body to deliver his messages and presents himself in real life form as Fat Joe. Joe then proceeds to do Soulja Boy like he did Cuban Link leaving the door open for a part 2.
My Big Terrible Rap Album
With its title inspired by "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", "My Big Terrible Rap Album" gives viewers a behind-the-scenes look as Soulja Boy works on his new album. Fans will see all the highlights like when the engineer leaves the room asking "seriously though, you are a signed to a record label?" and when Soulja Boy is stuck on a lyric to finish a song and his best friend says "just say whatever." Fans will also tag along with Soulja Boy as he shops for bright clothing and buys more jewelery that even Liberace would be embarrassed of.
Fakes On A Plane
This summer...on a plane...Soulja Boy...Waka Flocka Flame...OJ Da Juiceman...Lil' B...will go on the ride of their lives when their flight is hijacked by none other than Wiz Khalifa! Oh sure, Amber Rose as the stewardess looks good...but wait until Wiz Khalifa gets a hold of the onboard speaker and begins rapping his entire album. Can it get any worse? Oh it can...and it will. It's the Blackbuster of the summer..."FAKES...ON...A...PLANE!"