Written by brokencool writer @SlavaP
Man, I love performing for my fans! I can’t believe we sold out one of the biggest venues in this small, rural town! Oh wait, what time is it, midnight? Yeah, I think I’ll go on-stage now that I’ve sufficiently built up the mystery surrounding my persona. Wait, did the promoter pay me? Probably. I’m hood as fuck, he would know better than to fuck with my $2,000. Fuck yeah! I’m killing this shit! Look at that crowd, these people love me, they’re singing along and everything! Uh-oh, I can’t remember this part. Where’s my hypeman? I need to go get some water. Wait a goddamn minute! Did someone just throw a drink at me?! I can’t stand for this. I’m gonna express my disappointment to the crowd by using a calm and reasoned approach.
“Aw hell naw, you don’t throw shit at me! Do you know who I am?! I’m a grown ass man! Who the fuck threw that?!? Show yourself, you coward!”
Oh shit, look at the dude that put his hand up. He’s huge! He looks like he was drawn by Stan Lee! There’s no way I’m getting my ass kicked in front of my fans and shit. I’m going with Plan B.
“Security!!! Get this dude out of my show!”
Yeah, that should’ve done the trick, now they’ll know not to mess with a boss like me! Wait. Where’s the security around here? I only see like two guys. I hope one of them finds out who threw that and kicks them out! I don’t want my fans to think I allow drinks to get thrown at me! In fact, I’m gonna tell my DJ to turn the music down so that I can tell everyone what a mistake it was to throw that drink at me. Goddamn it, are they booing me?! Why are my fans booing me?? I should tell my DJ to turn the music back u....GODDAMN IT! Another drink?! That one was almost full!!
“AYO! Don’t disrespect me!! I came here for you, not for me! I don’t have to do this, I’m signed to a major-boutique label!”
YO! I thought drinks at this bar were crazy expensive, these dude’s aren’t even finishing them before they throw them up here! That’s it, I can’t stand this anymore, getting pelted with all these drinks is probably bad for my trill-image! I’m going in the crowd to distribute fades!!! I keep it one hunnid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*gets dragged back on stage by security after hopping into the crowd and throwing clumsy punches*
Yeah that’s right! I got ‘em!! At least, I think I did. I may have accidentally clipped a little girl on the side of her head when I was throwing those haymakers, but now there’s no doubt as to who the boss is!! Me!! I'm the boss!!
"Alright, I'm out of here. I'm gonna do one more song for my fans, and then I'm gone. If you still have a problem, you can meet me outside!"
I wonder if I can get them to pack the gear into tour bus early? I'm sure nobody will come out after I proved how trill I am, but still...I really hope that promoter paid me.