Written by brokencool writer @SlavaP
The English language is vast. It contains millions of words, capable of describing endless combinations of almost anything imaginable. For the sake of staying topical, words allow us the luxury of mocking 'Starships' and canceling Summer Jam surprises. However, there are a few exceptions to what words can do. For example, there is no English equivalent for German word "schadenfreude", which can be defined as "delighting in the misfortune of others". This is just one example of almost dozens of ways that the English language is falling behind its international competitors. We as a people are not doing enough to advance the modern lexicon. Do you know what two of the top words of 2011 were? Humblebrag and Tebowing. We can do better. And since hip-hop is arguably the most valuable export coming out of the Western world, I propose that we look towards the culture for help.
- Onika'd -
[ohn-ih-kahd]
verb
Definition: The act of emasculating a grown man in the presence of many
Examples:
Fred's friends laughed uncontrollably as they watched him get onika'd by his wife for the condom she found in his wallet.
- Jayelected -
[jey-ih-lek-tid]
verb, -electing
Definition: An extreme reversal of fortune
Examples:
"Did you hear about Fred? He got a divorce from his wife and she left him penniless, but then he fell in love with a nymphomaniacal heiress. He's really found a way to get jayelected out of that situation!"
- Keef -
[keef]
noun.
Definition: Something considered valueless and inconsequential, despite being publicly praised.
Examples:
As Fred turned the lights off in his garage, he gazed longingly at his keefs; his prized collection of Damien Hirst pieces.
- Delraying -
[dehl-rey-ing]
verb, -rayed
Definition: To consume all of one's resources for a brief attempt at relevance
Examples:
Fred's ex-wife tried to find a new husband in the nightlife scene, but no attempt at delraying was enough to convince someone to go home with her.
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